THE PUBLIC WON'T GET IT, THEY GOT A.D.D.

I sometimes feel like I will never win. I will never make something of myself. It's times like this when I need people close to me the most, but I push them away. I feel like my life won't go anywhere that I want it to go. I feel like people don't understand what really goes on with me. I feel like I have nowhere to turn, nobody who can understand, and nobody who really cares. This isn't a post to make people feel sorry for me, I just really need to let it out.

I had a wonderful night. Bear and I made things official, and I'm happy about it. I don't care what people have to say about it. Like, at first i thought it was too soon to make things official, but when you have 7 hour cake sessions, it's irrelevant to the public. He's mad sweet and he makes me smile. ♥




Yeah, that shit made me smile. Lol.
& BTW, LaLa already told me I forgot to blur his s/n out at the bottom. =/
Too lazy to change it.

Anyways, on to the REAL topic at hand. As the wee hours of morning came upon Bear & I's conversation...things got intense. We somehow got onto the subject of the people close to me who have passed away recently. I might seem strong and that I am okay with it, but there's always those days where you feel lost and alone and you just can't help it. Today was one of those days. It really doesn't help that I started crying and just got mad emotional over it all, but that's what happened. I dunno how he feels about what happened, but I'm trying to use this as something positive. Like...it's good that I cried already, so he knows I got a heart and that I have things that I'm not okay with, but then again it's embarrassing because I just started talking to him. It happened and there's really nothing I can do about it.

I cried myself to sleep at something like 11 O' clock this morning. Things just aren't okay with me. They really aren't.